Having approached the issue from a purely statistical direction, we’ve clearly been naïve and ignored the popularity of the sports on offer. The use of inverted commas above is deliberate. Similarly, although rugby offers the largest number (up to twenty three, as long as you make it onto the pitch at HQ) the artificially high standard of OURFC, where ex-professionals and internationals are ten-a-penny, makes hockey and football appear ‘easier’ options from a team sport perspective.

They will find you and not the other way round. However, Oxford is clearly an exception to this, as evidenced by the total absence of an OUBC stand at the Freshers Fair. In most other universities, rowing would be an excellent route to representative success, as long as one is reasonably tall, and dedicated enough to put in the many hours of training required. Then, one must consider the difficulty of making the Varsity team (generally the sole requirement for a Full Blue Sport). So, we’ve laid down the ground rules, now where from here? One of the most important factor is squad size – you have a far higher chance of making the Varsity athletics or rugby teams than you do for netball (seven players), sailing (six helmsmen) or squash (five players).

We will also ignore most Discretionary Full Blues, as the requirements (Badminton – last eight in BUCS, Karate – medal in a national competition) are mostly prohibitively high for any novice to aim for. For the purpose of this article, let’s say you have your eyes set on the top prize (not to do down any other sports: no Half Blue is easily won). Discretionary Full Blue sports tend to be a little less mainstream, with the ability to award Blues for fulfilling certain (often very hard to achieve) criteria, while Half Blue sports occupy the niche end of the spectrum. To break things down, there are three types of Blues sport: Full Blue, Discretionary Full Blue and Half Blue. But maybe, just maybe, you’ve wondered what feat of sporting prowess has given them the right to wear such and overpriced, understated garment? What do you have to do to get hold of one for yourself? You’ve probably thought ‘wankers’ or something similar and more forceful. You’ve probably seen them, swanning about the Park End VIP area in their Dark Blue blazers having prelashed at Vinnies or been on crewdate. Now, unfortunately, the first option is mostly down to you while for the last, let us gently point you in the direction of Cherwell’s Blind Date. The saying goes, you should leave Oxford with a first, a Blue or a spouse.

Oxford blues